On Monday evening, two of my friends came to my house for dinner and “Girls Night.” They brought Chinese food for dinner and we sat and talked, talked, and talked. We hadn’t seen each other since last November (my fault), and it was good to catch up together. Even though it was at my house, it was my first “social” deal in the past eight months. They are both fantastic moms and it was fun to have them at my house.
About 11:00 this morning, the Chicago orthopod called me on my cell phone to talk in preparation for my consultation appointment on Friday (referral from her). I was the Back-to-School aisle at Wal-Mart in the Valley counting out almost 2,000 pocket folders for work. Needless to say, the timing was not ideal and I wasn’t in the best spot to truly discuss what I wanted. I had notes with questions, but those were on my desk at the office. Today is her surgery day, so I had expected to hear from her Tuesday evening.
We discussed the logistics for Friday and she said that the new doctor would be candid and willing to answer all my questions. He has medical records that I sent via Fed Ex (last week), the last two notes from my current Chicago orthopod and they discussed my case at the foot conference two weeks ago. She reminded me that we are just seeking any additional insight or a reasonable explanation as to why the foot is the way it is and no decision as to future treatment has to be made on Friday. Why didn’t I think of this simple fact? We discussed pain, the rough week last week, and she continues to be calm, reassuring, intelligent, and very collected with her thoughts. Although there may not be many “options” left, no one is going to require a final treatment decision tomorrow – taking time is a wise choice.
The best thing in the conversation was the fact that she told me that she will absolutely continue to work with me and is in this for the “long haul.” She said, “We will get through it together and I will be your shepherd and guide. I have an investment in your foot.” This was big news and something that I really needed her to confirm & formally verbalize. Clearly there are substantial and challenging decisions that are ahead. Probably some of the largest decisions I will be required to make in my lifetime.
She confirmed that I know my foot situation and terms very well, can articulate concerns, and there was no need for nervousness about Friday.
We ended the conversation with her telling me a good place to shop on Friday near the doctor’s office. Although it is only shopping and I am not up for much “shopping,” clearly she is trying to make all of this more palatable and knows that this is an interest that I like!
I cannot meet with her on Friday, because she is not in the office. However, she is going to call me at 4:00 to talk about what we learned at the 2:00 consultation and we will then make a decision about if or when I need to meet with her in person. At the moment, we have an appointment on August 3rd, but it may make sense to move this to Monday – and try to avoid making a second trip in seven days.
The pain management doctor e-mailed back also this morning and he prescribed a different medication for nerve pain. I attempted to pick this up at the pharmacy tonight, but there is an issue with insurance coverage. The doctor & the insurance company have to talk first – it is never as simple as it should be.
I met with the St. Louis orthopod this afternoon also and we took x-rays today to take on a CD for Friday. He knows the surgeon that I will consult with, but not on a personal level. He is anxious to learn what he may offer as for suggestions or advice, too. He fully agreed that this has been a very long medical journey and understands my hesitation and concern as to the probable success of surgically “correcting” the foot deformity.
Emotionally I am doing somewhat better than last week – hanging in there. I am thankful for hearing back from the Chicago doctor today and the reassurance that she will be my shepherd … she is a huge blessing.
Pray specifically for the following –
- I will be able to cope, be open to advice, and remain emotionally strong at the consultation appointment on Friday (2:00pm). The drive home could be long.
- God will provide wisdom and clear direction; perhaps the strongest that we’ve ever needed or felt.
- Stamina … we need to take it “one day at a time”
- Scheduling … if we need to see the Chicago orthopod on Monday, details for this need to come together late afternoon on Friday.
- Thoughts – despite the pain, my desire is to not think about the foot situation continually during the day or night.
Thankful for small, positive things that are happening … many of which mean nothing in the grand scheme, but are part of everyday life.
- I was able to drive to get an x-ray today & walked into the office.
- Got my nails done on the way home from work.
- Had sweet corn during dinner from my grandparent’s farm in IL.
- My neighbor brought me a loaf of homemade zucchini bread.
- Photos of smiley, charming kids – Loved the pics, Laura!
- Pink roses in the middle of my kitchen table.
- Yummy fresh peaches
God continues to remain faithful in the midst of challenging days. I know I’ve said it before, but thank you again for praying for such a long period of time. Someday I will share with you the amazing ways that doors have opened, circumstances have not been coincidental and family and friends have been an unbelievable encouragement when I have felt like giving up. Doing my best ….
Love,
je
2 comments:
Girl, loved your entry today...the ups and downs are iffy as far as enjoyment goes, but they are, in fact, part of life. I'm at work and should be stamping out disease and pestilence or something, but I'd rather write to you. It's either that or return a call to someone about results of a urinalysis. Sigh. Work doldrums....ah, well. Glad you liked the pictures of the kiddos. Isaac has a "sister baby" (doll) that he plays with and its name is, of course, "JENNY!" He carried her around all day yesterday and gave her orange juice in a bottle, lay her down for a nap in my bed, sang Away in a Manger to her, and prayed for her. We had to turn on the hepa filter for "background noise" so she wouldn't wake up when we walked up and down the hall. He loves his Jenny. Should I be worried that he's playing with a doll and not a GI Joe or something? Probably not. She doesn't have any clothes on, and that's kind of a guy thing, isn't it? Hmmmm. Ponder. Hope you're doing well today. Thinking of you! The Jobacks
Took the kids to Macaroni Grill tonight. Big mistake. They were both publicly rowdy. Elijah left a wake of destruction beneath his high chair that looked like a tsunami had hit the table. Isaac blew bubbles in his glass, even after being told not to. Then he loosened the paper on his straw and blew on one end, careening the paper from the straw across the room (a little trick taught to him by his Dad), which did NOT help the present rapidly digressing situation. I tried to be positive and glow-y as I wilted further down into my chair beneath the paper (thank God) tablecloth that was strewn with mashed-up graham crackers, banana, and (yes, bad choice, Mom) blueberries. Note to self: do not take kids out in public when they have not had enough exercise. Second note to self: remind Dad not to teach bad behaviors to the kids. At the gastroenterologist today for my little "procedure..." Isaac asks (mind you, again, IN PUBLIC, in front of an ENTIRE waiting room of patients): "Mommy, do you get to keep on your bra?" Serenity now! B/C I certainly did NOT have it for most of the day. Here's hoping your day was a little less chaotic than mine. Smiles!
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