I apologize that it has been almost a week, since I have updated the blog. I kept waiting for doctors to call me back and then thought there would be more to share with you. I did speak with my plastic surgeon (in Chicago) last week and he thought I should go to Baltimore for a consultation appointment, but not proceed with the nerve surgery at this time. Obviously, it is a lot of expense for a consultation appointment. I am a bit leery of any surgeon that makes a medical diagnosis involving surgery via one e-mail. My e-mail to him was well written, but it is still a big step to recommended surgery from one e-mail – having never seen the foot before. His assistant did tell me that if I come to Baltimore and he believes that surgery is not warranted, he will not move forward. I could see him at another time (i.e. – checking on August) and just not go next week …. this may be pushing it a bit.
I called to Baltimore today to tell them that I would make a final decision regarding all of this on Tuesday of this week. His assistant did not know today if he would be in St. Louis at the end of August or not. He is coming here, but may/may not see patients at that time.
My prayer all last week was that if I was not supposed to go to Baltimore, that something would occur or change (i.e. door would close) to make it not possible or obvious that we were taking the wrong step. Within a 24 hour period, I heard from three independent sources advice to step back …. wait … and not proceed with our original plans just yet. We can cancel our plan reservations and apply the money ($200 loss) to two new flights at a future time. If it is meant for us to go to Baltimore in the future, there will be another appointment available at the right time. I am not the One responsible for the appointment schedule!
One of the neurologists that I’ve seen in the past, would like to see me again on July 18th to see if there are any “new developments” neurologically. He wanted me to see the person at Wash U that I already saw. He asked me to have her report faxed to him, so this is happening soon.
My orthopedic surgeon (in Chicago) really wants me to keep my appointment with the pain management doctor for this Friday, July 6th. We have not been able to connect on the phone, but are supposed to talk by Tuesday evening. Although she has not heard yet what the Baltimore doctor recommended, she feels that it is premature to travel there at this time.
We have completed five physical therapy sessions. No real changes yet – pain and function (or lack of) continue to be the same. I tried on lots of shoes over the weekend, but no luck. My physical therapist feels that I cannot wear a shoe due to the continued positioning deformity and not because of the swelling that remains. It is like trying to put a “square peg into a round hole.”
There continues to be lots of mixed feelings. We’ve gone from complete joy to questioning ourselves and our decision making ability. There are definitely still tough days with pain and walking, when anything that provides a glimmer of hope looks like the “right thing” to do next. Regardless of financial cost, we do not want to make the wrong treatment decision. As hard as it is to postpone the possibility of finding a solution to it all, there is nothing wrong with stepping back and continue to research options.
Keep praying for direction, wisdom, and patience …. will write more in the next day, when we finalize a decision.
je
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